Day 1: Your stats
My stats can be viewed here

Day 2: How tall are you, do you like your height?
     This seems redundant but yes, I do like my height. I am 5'5". I suppose the only thing I hate is that I have the torso of a tall person but the legs of a short person haha. What I'm saying is that my torso is really long and that's the only thing I fucking hate.

Day 3: A picture of your thinspiration. What features do you like about this person?

     Once upon a time, I had found the original, uncropped, unedited photo, but now that is near impossible to find. This photo has been my ultimate favorite thinspo pic of all time. This is the body I want, small and dainty and slim, yet still has curves (which I know that part is solely based on genes. Like whether or not your bone structure allows you to still have wide hips). She is still curvy yet has a thigh gap, her arms and her legs are slim and if I have thin limbs like that I'd NEVER complain about feeling like a busted can of biscuits.
     When I get as small as her, I imagine myself in Europe, curled up in a cushioned seat with a cup of hot coffee looking out the window with a wistful look on my face. I want people to look at me as if I had walked right out of a fairytale, looking like a fairy or an elven princess. Ever since I saw this photo few years ago it has always stuck with me, I absolutely want to look like this. I NEED to look like this.

Day 4: Your greatest fears about weight loss
     That I will never, ever, reach my ultimate goal weight and that I'll be a fatty until the day I die.

Day 5: Why do you really want to lose weight? Are you doing it for you?
To finally be comfortable in my skin and worry less about what others think. But mainly to not feel like a busted can of biscuits all the time. I hate feeling large and occupying a lot of space, I rather take up as little space as possible and go unnoticed (which is a lot easier to do when you are skinny).

Day 6: Do you binge? If so, explain why you think you do.
Yes, and I know it's because instead of showing me love to comfort me growing up, my parents bought me food to avoid any "hard" topics and thus food became my comfort. It's honestly a surprise I haven't gotten obese yet. And I never intend to be.

Day 7: Do your parents know you are trying to lose weight? Do they care?
No and no lmao

Day 8: Your workout routine.
10 min stretches every morning and night, walk for an hour or try to walk at least 10k steps. LOTS of water.

Day 9: Did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?
Yes, especially when I was younger. I was aware of being fat and being called fat solidified fears and self-doubts. Losing weight in my last two years of highschool gave me so much confidence that was all ruined by some dude who ate loads of carbs at NIGHT and was skinnier than I ever was. Yes, I am aware I had low standards back then. I'm trying to focus on me and only me now. Never again will I let some BOY dictate my eating habits and make me eat all the calorie loaded foods with them. People do not understand how angry it makes me feel when they continously ask me if I wanna eat food or more food (answer is ALWAYS NO).

Day 10: What was the hardest thing you gave up during this weight loss?
Ugh I messed up but definitely chips. I hate myself

Day 11: Your favourite thinspo blog and why.
I don't have one! Back in like 2015 though, the ED culture on tumblr was waaaaay different from what it is now. I feel like it's not as triggering as it used to be because it's full of dumb memes, low cal reciepes, and uhhh, that's literally it. I know this sounds horrible, but seeing posts like "imagine this or that when you're skinny" or "things I will wear when I'm skinny", progress photos and seeing weights being logged consistently, and all those depressive-ish ed gifs and such helped me stay on track and thats how I went from 155 to 125 in 3 months. Now I don't even have that same energy, instead I've been maintaining (and gaining a little) for the past like year and a half. This is stupid, I look back and think, I could've been my UGW by now.

Day 12: What do you normally eat?
Toast w/ butter, banana or apple, and a shit ton of coffee and zero cal soda

Day 13: Are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?
unhealthy but i'm trying to be good about it.

Day 14: What’s your UGW? When do you expect to reach it?
96 lbs is my dream UGW. But I have no idea when I'll reach it since I go back and forth between eating lots and eating nothing. If I were more disciplined, I could do it in less than a year I bet. Currently I am 40.6 lbs away...

Day 15: Are you vegan or vegetarian? If so, has this helped you lose weight? If not, would you ever consider turning vegan or vegetarian?
When I was at my best?? absolutely. Being vegan was when I felt my best and my skin was so clear. Perhaps I should consider it again.

Day 16: When did you first decide to lose weight?
I've always wanted to lose weight since I was in 4th grade but sophomore year of high school is when I seriously wanted to actively lose weight. So roughly 6 years ago now.

Day 17: Do you have an eating disorder?
Probably but I won't self-diagnose. I also don't wanna see anyone because I worry they'll think my food issues are fake

Day 18: What food is your weakness? Starbucks lattes and jalapeno chips (or potato in any form really)

Day 19: When is the last time you ate fast food?
Idk, months ago?? Despite being into junk food, I was never one for fast food. I associate fast food with road trips so I never even consider going to a place like McDonalds or Burger King or Wendys because my brain weirdly considers those types of places as roadtrip food ONLY (and honestly I'm grateful for that way of thinking so I'm sure I would've been obese lol).

Day 20: Favourite diet? Oh god, probably the OG ana diet, the ABC diet. It was the first diet I ever went on as a teen and at the time, I was so much more disciplined than I am now. I think I stuck with it for like 20 days?? and in that time, I was losing like a pound a day. I lost like 14 lbs or something.

Day 21: What are your clothing sizes?
In the states? a small. but that's cheating since the usa does vanity sizing. In europe and asia I'm like a M/L.

Day 22: What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain?
My lowest ever was 125.6 lbs. I was 18. Oh to be under 130 lbs again...I gained because I was not a secure partner and my ex LOVED to eat late at night and eat so much pasta. He was skinny as a stick which was triggering as even at my LW I still looks chubby next to him. I ate and stopped dieting with him because it was hard to constantly say no to eating out and I wish I knew then what I know now that no boy is ever worth trying to please. Only do things that please yourself.

Day 23: Did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight?
no, but people in my life did

Day 24: How do you feel about the terms pro-ana/pro-mia.
Y I K E S

Day 25: Have you ever purged? If you have, describe your first experience.
Once, and it was gross and horrible, but ngl it felt good after

Day 26: What excites you most about reaching your UGW?
Finally feeling like I've successfully disappeared. I do not like drawing eyes or attention so being physically smaller means less people to notice me.

Day 27: How do you deal with being around food?
Back when I was super strict, I'd grab water or tea. Nowadays I am out of control, so I need to stay away or another night of self hatred comes.

Day 28: Do you want that gap between your legs? Why?
yes, but only for the reason that my shorts will no long ride up and be uncomfortable lmao

Day 29: Your definition of beauty.
a sweet, kind aura with an air of elegance and grace.

Day 30: 10 facts about you! And now, what are your stats?